The college football season is officially upon us, with Texas A&M set to face off against South Carolina at Williams-Brice Stadium in Columbia at 6:00 p.m. EST. An intriguing SEC matchup, particularly since both teams have a new starter lining up behind center.
For the Gamecocks it’s Dylan Thompson, a promising senior with proven ability to air it out, who sat patiently behind Connor Shaw for three long years. Steve Spurrier has been speaking fondly of Thompson for years and has put him on the field enough to amass nearly 2,000 yards over the last two seasons.
For the Aggies it’s Kenny Hill, also known as not Johnny Manziel, which is the name I knew him by until recently. In fact, last week someone asked me who Texas A&M’s starting quarterback was this year and I replied, “Uhhh…not Johnny Manziel?”
Obviously that wasn’t an acceptable answer, so I decided to read up on the situation. Since Hill is only a sophomore and played on a team with Manziel, there is not much to go on in terms of actual football. Last season he completed 16-of-22 pass attempts, totaling 183 yards and a touchdown. So that’s something.
And Hill was arrested in March for public intoxication after police found him passed out in front of a bar in College Station. He was subsequently suspended indefinitely, but what exactly would he have missed out on at that point in the year anyway. So that’s something else.
I’m not going to lie though, even after discovering that mountain of knowledge, I was still found wanting for information. That’s why i decided to log a few man hours on Twitter and Instagram, in an effort to learn a little bit more about the heir to Johnny Football’s throne.
Here’s what I found…
Hill was an adorable baby and fit snugly, yet comfortably, in a laundry basket.
He was an equally adorable toddler and, apparently, a Rangers fan.
Hill is a two sport athlete, but it doesn’t seem that he’s allowed to play baseball at A&M. He doesn’t say that specifically, but he’s not on the Aggies current roster.
Hill has a thing for the ladies—lots of ladies. Beyonce, Selena Gomez and Ciara are all understandable, but getting gaga over Paris Hilton is simply not acceptable. He’s still young though, hopefully he’ll learn.
Hill may only be a sophomore and a first year starter, but he’s already rambling at a professional level.
Hill is into the movie Any Given Sunday and appreciates the suaveness of Lionel Richie, who you just know has the sly moves of a jungle cat when it comes to dealing with the ladies.
He thinks scary movies are potentially real, which is kind of stupid, yet kind of adorable.
Hill isn’t particularly enthralled by some of his college courses, but at least he’s going to them. Especially impressive considering he has a sleeping problem and gets up at the butt crack of dawn.
And even if he’s tired, he can always turn it on when necessary.
It seems he might be a little paranoid that people are out to get him, which isn’t ideal.
Hill has a girlfriend named Julia, and this is her. Julia is not lacking in self-esteem.
He may or may not think he’s Superman.
Hill is smart enough to know that Tom Brady is better than Tony Romo.
And smart enough to know that Tony Romo doesn’t suck.
Hill’s roommate is his teammate Sabian Holmes, a wide receiver, who doesn’t seem super on top of stuff. Their friendship amuses me greatly.
Holmes seems like a fantastic and hilarious roommate. Hill is a lucky man.
Hahaha. See?! Sabian is a star in the making.
Of course there are ups and downs in even the best relationships.
Like everyone of his generation, Hill is fond of the selfie.
Hill is particularly fond of the man he backed up last season. He sang Manziel’s praises during the draft and wanted to see Johnny Football end up in Big D.
Apparently Hill has been stealing Manziel’s signature move, which could get him busted for trademark infringement sometime in the not too distant future.
Like everyone else on Earth, Hill noticed the sports media has taken a special interest in Johnny Football.
And he sees you, ESPN!
We all see you.
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